Partly Facetious: The challenge of conspiracies

"It's surely a conspiracy."
"Of course, everything that happens in the Land of the Very Pure is a conspiracy..."
"Where did you get the Very Pure? I mean Pakistan translates into Land of the Pure, not Very Pure."
"I would have you know that there are conspiracies galore against the Very Pure, and not just the Pure."
"Are you being facetious?"
"No, who is the purest of them all? Nawaz Sharif and Asif Ali Zardari..."
"What are you? A Khanzadeh! I mean his past personal life is also not in line with Islamic principles shall we say..."
"Oye, we don't talk personal."
"OK, but Nawaz Sharif and Zardari sahib say that the courts and the establishment are being personal when they target them so there!"
"That's true I mean both say they were rich to start off with and have just got richer - that's the hallmark of financial astuteness and must not be mistaken for corruption."
"Indeed, though if you get richer when you are in power then people wonder!"
"Just so long as they limit themselves to wondering; anyway when I said it's a conspiracy I wasn't referring to the Big Three leaders leading Pakistan's national parties but to our current unreal Prime Minister Shahid Khaqan Abbasi..."
"If you reckon Nawaz Sharif is conspiring against his own Prime Minister..."
"Nah, he isn't conspiring against him cause if he was the guy would be out, just undermining him..."
"The First Daughter is also toeing daddy's line and..."
"Shahid Khaqan Abbasi is already catering to the First Daughter by keeping the real First Lady hidden - I mean I don't even know what she looks like..."
"Well, there is real and then there is unreal so learn to distinguish between the two, anyway SKA in his maiden speech as the prime minister committed to suspend arms licenses of automatic weapons and the Banana Man backed by the Senate says he and other parliamentarians will resist the move...."
"Rehman Malik may say he is eating a banana when eating an apple on the phone because he is a congenital liar according to Zulfiqar Mirza, but remember he is echoing the sentiments of the parliamentarians who love their automatic weapons and..."
"Hmmm, so what do you reckon will happen?"
"SKA will back down yet again! Unless Nawaz Sharif tells him otherwise..."
"When the Very Pure speak, the merely Pure must listen."
"Amen."